why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
