Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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