I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
