Your tits are I can't wait for
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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