Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize