We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
you would pick up someone in the library
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Randomize
