Dual....:-)
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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