If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
