So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize