I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
