No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
