Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
