I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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