I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
honey bunches of taint.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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