i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
