I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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