so that wasnt chicken after all
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
