shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
