i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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