Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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