I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
