Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
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