YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
