sorry about calling you the devil all night.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
