; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
