You made me cry and you don't even care
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
