I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize