So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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