Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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