I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
