I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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