I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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