Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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