new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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