I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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