She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
