You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
