god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
His hands were made for my vagina.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
