I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize