Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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