he shaved USA in his pubs
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
