she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize