butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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