It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Buhtt sex?
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Randomize
