that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
