I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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