Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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