glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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