you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
