Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize