she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
