hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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