So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize