people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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