Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
