why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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