doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize