Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
