She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize