how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
