All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I am naked and annoyed.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
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