Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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