Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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