We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
