Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
