Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
