Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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