Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I got her a Nickelback box set.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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